Whom do you blame when you're not
"The only difference between successful
people and unsuccessful people
is extraordinary determination."
―Mary Kay Ash
There's no excuse for being unsuccessful in any area of
life. To be unsuccessful means you've stopped trying to create
success, and you are the only one to blame. Many people think
success is a situation that you find yourself in when you've
been really lucky. I say, the more effort you put into finding
success, the luckier you become. I know I sound very cavalier
here, but the truth is the truth.
There is a bit of confusion in Mary Kay Ash's statement
about determination, though. What does she mean by
"extraordinary determination?" Many people think it means to
never quit; stick to your plan and overcome all obstacles until
you achieve your victory. Yes and no. Yes, keep playing until
you win; but no, if you're playing with an unwinnable strategy,
then don't continue on without changes. I've often heard
coaches and others say that winners never quit. That's a bunch
of bull! Of course winners quit. They quit all the time―when
they see they have an unwinnable strategy. Successful people
are masters at quickly recognizing and quitting an unwinnable
game plan. They waste little time in making course
The confusion for most people is in how they view winning.
The determined and successful people really play two games at
once: The long-term goal is the big game, and short-term goals
are the mini games played to win the bigger one. A seeming lack
of determination may be as simple as getting too focused on an
unwinnable mini game, wasting time and energy trying to make
failed strategies winners. An example would be a football team.
The mini-game team might play their offense as a passing game.
They are focused on moving the ball down field by passing. When
passes are intercepted or fumbled, or when the quarterback is
often sacked, this team would continue to try passing until
ultimately they lose the football game--the bigger game. It
would be easy to see a team like this losing their
determination if all their efforts to create a great passing
game resulted in lost football games. The big-game team has
their focus on the score at the end of the game and employs
all strategies to win. If they found their passing
game failing, how long do you think it would take them to start
running the ball? Not very long! And if running the ball wasn't
working, they would start kicking the ball. The point is, they
don't confuse the mini-games with the big game; therefore, they
are free to quit any mini-games that aren't producing results
in the big game . . . the only game that really matters. This
team is quick to deconstruct, find flaws in strategy, make
course corrections (a new mini-game) and get back on the field
to try again. They aren't quitting the ballgame; they are
quitting the passing game.
There are an endless number of mini-games for any of life's
big games. Health, finance, relationships, spirituality . . .
the list goes on. Any part of life can be played as
two winnable games worth playing at the same time.
View it this way and you'll stay in the big game long enough to
What do you think? Do winners quit? Have you ever found
yourself stuck playing an unwinnable mini-game? How many
mini-games can you come up with for the big game you're
playing? I really want to know, so e-mail me at Lorraine@Peacemaker-Coach.com.
"The only difference between successful
people and unsuccessful people is extraordinary
determination."―Mary Kay Ash
Life and fitness coach and author Lorraine
Esposito has been featured in broadcast, print and online media
and is a public speaker regarding personal leadership and
empowered parenting to community and school-based audiences.
Find out more about Lorraine at www.Peacemaker-Coach.com
and her latest book at http://www.morningpeacemaker.com
The Morning Peacemaker, How to get your kids out the door
on time without saying(nagging) a word. If you have kids ages 2
to 12 you'll LOVE this book