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Whom do you blame when you're not successful?

"The only difference between successful people and unsuccessful people

is extraordinary determination."

―Mary Kay Ash

There's no excuse for being unsuccessful in any area of life. To be unsuccessful means you've stopped trying to create success, and you are the only one to blame. Many people think success is a situation that you find yourself in when you've been really lucky. I say, the more effort you put into finding success, the luckier you become. I know I sound very cavalier here, but the truth is the truth.

There is a bit of confusion in Mary Kay Ash's statement about determination, though. What does she mean by "extraordinary determination?" Many people think it means to never quit; stick to your plan and overcome all obstacles until you achieve your victory. Yes and no. Yes, keep playing until you win; but no, if you're playing with an unwinnable strategy, then don't continue on without changes. I've often heard coaches and others say that winners never quit. That's a bunch of bull! Of course winners quit. They quit all the time―when they see they have an unwinnable strategy. Successful people are masters at quickly recognizing and quitting an unwinnable game plan. They waste little time in making course corrections.

The confusion for most people is in how they view winning. The determined and successful people really play two games at once: The long-term goal is the big game, and short-term goals are the mini games played to win the bigger one. A seeming lack of determination may be as simple as getting too focused on an unwinnable mini game, wasting time and energy trying to make failed strategies winners. An example would be a football team. The mini-game team might play their offense as a passing game. They are focused on moving the ball down field by passing. When passes are intercepted or fumbled, or when the quarterback is often sacked, this team would continue to try passing until ultimately they lose the football game--the bigger game. It would be easy to see a team like this losing their determination if all their efforts to create a great passing game resulted in lost football games. The big-game team has their focus on the score at the end of the game and employs all strategies to win. If they found their passing game failing, how long do you think it would take them to start running the ball? Not very long! And if running the ball wasn't working, they would start kicking the ball. The point is, they don't confuse the mini-games with the big game; therefore, they are free to quit any mini-games that aren't producing results in the big game . . . the only game that really matters. This team is quick to deconstruct, find flaws in strategy, make course corrections (a new mini-game) and get back on the field to try again. They aren't quitting the ballgame; they are quitting the passing game.

There are an endless number of mini-games for any of life's big games. Health, finance, relationships, spirituality . . .  the list goes on. Any part of life can be played as two winnable games worth playing at the same time. View it this way and you'll stay in the big game long enough to win BIG!

What do you think? Do winners quit? Have you ever found yourself stuck playing an unwinnable mini-game? How many mini-games can you come up with for the big game you're playing? I really want to know, so e-mail me at Lorraine@Peacemaker-Coach.com.


"The only difference between successful people and unsuccessful people is extraordinary determination."―Mary Kay Ash

Warmest Regards,
Lorraine Esposito

Life and fitness coach and author Lorraine Esposito has been featured in broadcast, print and online media and is a public speaker regarding personal leadership and empowered parenting to community and school-based audiences. Find out more about Lorraine at www.Peacemaker-Coach.com and her latest book at http://www.morningpeacemaker.com  The Morning Peacemaker, How to get your kids out the door on time without saying(nagging) a word. If you have kids ages 2 to 12 you'll LOVE this book


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