Parenting Promises Program™

Module One: Leadership

When purpose is clear confidence soars and everything is easier.  

Enrollment for Winter 2011-2012 is Closed

Module One will be offered again April, 2012 

“Because of their size,

parents may be difficult to discipline properly.”—P.J. O’Rourke

“If you don't know where you're going,

you might wind up someplace else.”—Yogi Berra

Space is limited to 10 for each program

Intro Class

Create peace today and peace for a lifetime—at the same time!

There is a short game and a long game in raising a child and they both have to be played masterfully at the same time. This means finding a way to enjoy your children while they-and you-are still young as you set up the relationship you want with them 20 years from now. With clarity and support, it's not such a tall order.

Short game= The daily grind (brushing teeth, eating breakfast, backpacks, etc.)

Long game= Creating independent adults capable of running the world.

Activity:

Fulfillment Assessment #1 – Let the games begin with a benchmark

Family Profile - Show us your beautiful family

 Class 1

Purpose of parenting – the big picture

If everything we do today sets up our results for tomorrow, how does getting a bed made or brushing teeth in the morning set up the big picture? It’s fuzzy without first understanding the big picture.

Clarity in your purpose as a parent brings you confidence.

Activity:

It’s All About Me Questions about your morning routine

Your Role as a Parent  A list of elements that describes the promises you made to your children . . . and yourself.

Class 2

Today forward, does it connect?

It’s time to apply your big picture clarity to a single recurring morning chore. Participants will observe one routine chore throughout the week looking for connections, or disconnections, to the big picture and their parenting promises.

How are my actions supporting or not supporting the big picture?

Activity:

How We Do What We Do - What are the elements that make up one small routine chore? 

Class 3

Make one small change in one small chore has a BIG impact!

Obey the Small Step Rule. Test the waters with a low risk, easy to manage change in the way a simple morning chore is done. In what way does your child respond differently? In what way did you respond differently? Are the connections to the bigger picture stronger?

How does this one small change affect the big picture?

Activity:

Now, how we do it  The huge effect of one small change

Bonus: How do YOU do what we do? Survey others; inspire and be inspired.

Once Upon a Time . . .  Trace the evolution of another small chore

Bonus: A Good Student   Remember learning something new

Class 4

Fear or Love

Though we have a whole lot of love in our hearts, actions are often motivated by fear. When fear is the motivation behind action you’ll only attract more things to fear. Love makes you feel bigger, generous, open, and connected; your inner wisdom evaluates the right from wrong and guides you, but only if you trust yourself.

Doubt of the outcome creates fear. It’s hard to find surety if you doubt your wisdom.

Activity:

The Boogie Man  Looking at a specific situation, are your thoughts mostly fearful?

"Thanks for today that was great to have someone not involved ‘hear’ me and my cheers and challenges!" 

Class 5

Venn diagram / Parenting Purpose

Venn diagrams show the relationship and connections among seemingly different things. In this case Venn separates limiting beliefs from your inner wisdom and intuition. Often people are confused by their fears or past programming and tend to distrust their intuition. Participants create Venn diagrams and share.

Venn connects your present thinking to your present feelings

Activity:

Check in With Venn  Create a few Venn diagrams using your parenting elements. Participants will use them during the week and record results.

Fulfillment Assessment #2 – The ½ Way Point

Class 6

Leading Evolution

Changes are new territories for your kids—but not for you—yet parents aren’t leading evolution. We are usually one or two steps behind. Most of us had to pull our way into independence dragging our parents behind. The evolution and growth of our children can be much smoother when we know how to be out in front.

The tug-of-war over independence just isn’t fun for anyone.

Activities:

Nature + Nurture = Evolution Identify the evolutionary steps for standard chores. Select one chore and implement a small action that leads the way.

 Class 7

Communication and Personality Styles

It can be difficult to talk about differences honestly. Many of us, children especially, have limited experience and vocabulary. I know that my mother was quick to correct me if I pointed at someone different. These experiences taught me to pretend differences didn’t exist, because it would hurt the other person if I acknowledged the difference. At other times a person is restricted by vocabulary, having no other word to describe someone “weird” (for example). In either case, differences can create conflict within a family or group unless they can be discussed productively.

 Personality difference is not the same as personality conflict

Class 8

Curious Questions

So often our internal programming interferes with our ability to ask questions with genuine curiosity because our beliefs have already decided what the answer should be. What could you learn by asking curious questions of your children, of his or her teachers, or even of yourself? How many times have you accepted, without question, a teacher’s version of conflict at school?

Truth is subjective

Activities:

The Game of 10 What Ifs To expand perspectives, we have to reprogram the unconscious to allow for more options.  

Class 9

Environmental Design

Based on Coachville’s teleclass, Personal Environments, we will define the people, places, and things that have influence on our beliefs and parenting methods. Understanding our environments will make perseverance easier.

The environment always wins

Other people are simply observers of your life; they don’t have the power to create or uncreate

Activities:

Recruit Your Team!  Involve your inner circle in making good on your parenting promises.  As you ask for support, observe reactions.

Environments either pull you forward or hold you back.

My Child’s Relationships – Keep, Tweak, or EEK! 3 tweaks +1 EEK are your focus

Class 10 and Wrap Up

How have we changed?

The final class will revisit the notion of purpose. Participants will share transformation and evolution stories. We will discuss the sequence of events and highlights of the past 11 weeks together and answer the questions: How has this program benefited you personally and how could the Parenting Promises Program benefit the world?

Life is easy when you know your purpose

Activities:

Fulfillment Assessment #3 – Where Are You Now?

Program Evaluation and Feedback

Sign up for Module Two: Implementing Action with the Morning Peacemaker Method™

"This program helped me greatly. I thank you for that. I also think you might have a business in keeping groups together for long, long periods of time. I could see this group getting together twice a year for 8-10 week programs for 5 or so years. I would definitely be into that."

Bonus Class - ZAPPING IRRITATIONS

Based on Coachville’s Toleration Free eCourse, we will discuss the distinctions between irritations and needs, shoulds, values, wants, compromise and compassion. At any given time an irritation with our children can feel like one or all of these terms unless we are clear about the distinctions. The accumulation of irritations drains us and is the source of friction and resistance. As we look at and zap irritations, not just those with our children, we will find renewed energy and space for this program.

The things we tolerate mirror what’s going on inside us.

Toleration Assessment  Zap 10 tolerations

Imagine if every day with your kids started out peacefully and without all the fuss.

      Imagine if everyone started the day this way.

New programs forming.  Sign up for early notice.

Click on the stamp!

Lorraine Esposito, Peacemaker Coach is a Scarsdale, New York coaching practice working with clients from all over the U.S. (Texas, Florida, Connecticut, New York, New Jersey, Illinois, Virginia, Washington, DC., North Carolina, Boston, Maine, Colorado, and more), Canada, and even into Europe (France and Sweden.)