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November 21, 2011

Tip of the Week 

Insurance Against Mediocrity 

Peer Pressure

What is it:  The influence to conform to a peer group. Okay, what's peer group?  An informal primary group of people who share similar interests and backgrounds. People of a peer group feel a close bond with one another through the perception of sameness.


Why it’s Important:  We are likely to become an average of the 5 people with whom we spend the most time.


The Problem:  Parent’s don’t count in a kid’s assessment of the meaning of “peer” and therefore don’t count among the 5 core influential people that the child will average into.  Consider the old saying: If you’re not with us, you’re against us.


The Tip:  For one day, observe the issues your child facesConsciously be mindful of her challenges and the areas in which she is most comfortable. Watch how she uses all her resources to navigate through one school day. Then, for each challenge you observe, pause and reflect upon yourself at her age facing the same challenge. Remember what it felt like to be in the fray facing the challenge and then remember how you navigated through to the other side.

  • What resources did you call upon? 
  • How many times did you try and fail before success? 
  • How did that particular challenge spread out to create other challenges that day?   

5 things you'll learn through the experiment:

  1. Respect for your child's courage to face challenges
  2. Admiration for her resourcefulness to find her way though (even if she hasn't been successful . . . yet) 
  3. Confidence that she will be okay in the long run -- hey, you made it, right?  She'll make it, too.
  4. Openers for conversations that might enable your wisdom to be heard by her, even if just a little 
  5. Common ground adding to the perception of sameness

Bonus!  Trust builds! You'll peek her curiosity when you start to show understanding and appreciation vs. judgment.  That's all it takes initially for her to start considering you a credible ally.


Peacemaker Coach - Fat is like the Flue and Peer Pressure

Related Article:  Fat is Like the Flu  (You'll be surprised), Your Perfect Life,

Related Tip of the Week:  Safety with Smartphones, Lunch Notes

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