October 14, 2012
Personal Trainer Style
To turn something over to your
child means two things:
feels ready for full authority over something.
2. You agree.
Sooner than you
think you won’t have a choice. Your child will claim his right to take
charge of his life. Best to practice early:
Fearing the test of our
parenting, we panic when it’s time to let go.
to his future opportunities.
Failing to have
delivered on our parenting promises.
Think like a personal
Responsibility is a skill-muscle that requires training.
Adopt the 4-step training process that works
whether you’re training for a triathlon or for a responsible life.
For what are you training and
Parents: Clarify your parenting promises.
Kids: Clarify personal benefit.
Uniquely structure training to
fit a unique individual.
Parents: Teach what you know and find others to teach the
Kids: Discover what works through experience.
Personal values with short-
and long-term goals.
Parents: Solve problems for today,
teach independence for a lifetime.
Kids: Efforts today give
satisfaction and set up a happy
Practice with guidance and support.
Parents: Basic skills practiced doing small things; connect the
small to your big parenting promises.
Kids: Big lessons become recognizable through effective debrief
of small actions.
go feels great!
Each step provides
opportunities to celebrate the process of becoming responsible.
A simple teaching strategy
helps you through uncertainty.
Training with awareness builds
excitement about the coming-of-age process.
Supporting your child’s desire
for independence demonstrates your faith in her ability to thrive. She’ll
listen when you speak.
We promise to teach our kids how to stand behind the decisions
they make. By gradually turning over small responsibilities, you’ll make good on
Related Articles: Delay
Gratification? NO WAY!, Bribing Kids, The Currency of Power,
Related Tip of the Week: Have
Chime in >> What do you think?