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April 3, 2013

Peacemaker Coach Tip of the Week

Wait for Desire

Wanting something is excellent motivation

What it is

Desire is the powerful energy behind action—it all starts with desire.

Why it's
Important

Desire pulls us through uncomfortable things when it comes from the inside.

The
Problem

Parents try to spur desire from the outside. We’re conditioned to anticipate our kids’ needs, and sometimes our desire to take care of our kids overshadows their ability to feel their own pull.

Amplify Your Influence

The Tip
Spring Has Sprung & Nothing Fits!

Allow time for your child’s desire to shop to grow as big as their new shoe size. Chances are it won’t take long for desire to spur action.

Step 1

Last Year's Clothes

Unpack last year’s clothes and make them available for wear (weather permitting.)

Step 2

Proper Fit

Before anything is worn, reach an agreement about acceptable fit.

Be specific and objective about hem lines, necklines, and other issues of snugness and appearance.

Step 3

Invitation

Let your kids know that you expect to shop with them and that you’re going to wait for them to decide when it’s time.

“You’ve grown a lot since last year so I’m sure there will be a few things that don’t fit. When you’re ready to go shopping, I’ll be happy to take you. Try to think ahead so we have time.”

Step 4

Resist Temptation

Unless you need your child to be dressed in a certain way, resist the temptation of buying clothes for her or reminding her about shopping.

Allow enough time for discomfort to naturally spur desire and action.

Mother’s Day with the in-laws?

Peacemaker Blog - What NOT to Expect When You're Expecting

Want your kids well-dressed on Mother’s Day, buy them clothes and ask that they wear them. If you’ve had to shop without your child, consider making the clothes unavailable for wear except for occasions that are important to YOU.

Do your best to buy stuff they’ll like, however if she doesn’t like your choices, consider it another great reason for her to want to go shopping.

Step 5

Shopping

Ask your child to make a list before stepping out the door. Include quantity and descriptions like, 2 casual tees, 3 sporty shorts, etc.

A list transfers the responsibility for getting what’s needed to your kids.

Check out life coach training and certification at the Center for Coaching Mastery at Westchester Community College

Benefits

Appreciation

When discomfort turns into desire your child has the opportunity to appreciate you and their new clothes.

Understanding

You’ll realize that much of what spurs him into action has little to do with you.

Influence

Waiting for your child to lead demonstrates your trust in his ability to lead. You’re saying,

“I know you have what it takes to get going on the important things.”

You’re also telling him that you’re ready to support him when he decides he’s needs support.

Promise
Kept

We promise to teach our kids how to make good decisions and a critical part of that is taking action.

By waiting for desire to spur action you’re giving your child the opportunity to practice initiative, which is one great way to make good on your promise.

  

Peacemaker Coach Tip of the Week - Wait for Desire 

Related Articles: Offer of Influence

Related Tip of the Week: Time is Money,

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