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“What is laid down, ordered, factual is never enough to embrace the whole truth:

 life always spills over the rim of every cup.”



We must remain open to new ideas and be prepared to accept that truth evolves very quickly. With each new experience or idea presented, our definitions for things change. Take the cell phone, for example. In 1982 the Federal Communication Commission authorized commercial cellular service in the United States. At that time, a cell phone was a prized possession and its use a symbol of status and importance. To have and use a cell phone in public added to one’s standing.


Over the course of many years society has changed its perception of “truth” regarding public use of cell phones and, at each stage of change, there was a time of controversy and fear. In 2001 New York was the first state to ban hand-held cell phone use while driving because of the increased chances of collision. According to the 1997 New England Journal of Medicine’s examination of hospital records, drivers are four times more likely to be involved in a car crash if they are talking or texting on a cell phone while driving. These new data added to our collective pool of knowledge and produced a change in the notion of the use of cell phones for many people—but not all people. The Missouri Association of Realtors is one group that has not changed its view of cell phone use while driving. Its position is, “We’re generally opposed to restrictions on cell phone use, when they’re used as cell phones” said Sam Licklider, a lobbyist for the association. “The simple fact is, [realtors] are in their car a lot and they use their phones for business.”  The evolution of truth to this point took over twenty years, and the truth of it continues to evolve. In January of 2009, the National Safety Council called for a ban on all cell phone use while driving, including hands-free cell phone use. We will watch again as truth evolves.


It’s easy to look back and watch the truth of cell phone use evolve over the years, but it isn’t so easy to see truth evolve in your life day by day. Just like the cell phone, your definition and truth about all your values will change with each new experience. For example, one value many people hold in high regard is family. This is one of the most often talked about values in my coaching practice. Family relationships can create beautiful support and/or crushed spirits, yet most people rigidly hold to one single definition of this value—the one their parents gave them in the first place. As you grew from child to adult, the definition of family had to change to include people with whom there is no genetic connection. Friends become “family.” A member of your genetic family may be intentionally spiteful and mean, even steal from you or physically abuse you. This brother or sister or even parent is, by genetic connection, technically in your family, but is he or she entitled to the openness, trust, loyalty, respect and generosity that is the norm for this value of family? What if you have a family of your own now? Do you prioritize all family members in the same way? People who consciously hold fast to the truth of any value will experience huge internal conflicts. Using this family example, how conflicted would you feel if your evil family member asked to move in with you?


The bottom line is to be open to the evolution of truth in all areas of life. Evolution is, by definition, unpredictable, so allow truth simply to evolve as it will. Try to be curious about the path truth takes and be conscious in updating all the values that connect with the evolving truth. When presented with a situation that creates internal conflict, check first with your values and be sure they are up to date. It’s cool how that check-in makes everything so clear.


“What is laid down, ordered, factual is never enough to embrace the whole truth: life always spills over the rim of every cup.”--Unknown


What do you think? Can important and standard truths change? Have you experienced internal conflict when presented with a value that’s out of date? Email me at Lorraine@Peacemaker-Coach.com with your truths.


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Coach Lorraine Esposito, PCC



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